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By Moshe Cohen

Negotiating effectively requires confidence and skill, as well as a comfort level with conflict, risk, and uncertainty. Not surprisingly, many executives rise to the positions they attain due to exactly these traits. Unfortunately, that's not the end of the story, and many people have tripped up their negotiations on some common pitfalls.

Creating Value vs. Winning
One of the simplest mistakes people make negotiating is that they regard their negotiations as contests with winners and losers and get focused on beating the other parties rather than on doing well for themselves. Every negotiation is an opportunity to create value, and by concentrating their efforts on winning rather than on finding creative ways to create value for themselves, they actually limit the results they achieve through the negotiation. There is a competitive aspect to negotiation, however it is secondary to the search for undiscovered opportunity. For example, a job seeker who focuses too much attention on the competitive salary negotiation might leave undiscovered an opportunity to define the job description of his or her dreams.

Listening vs. Talking
In order to maximize the likelihood of discovering the opportunities inherent in negotiations, it is essential to spend much more effort listening than talking. One of the most common mistakes that people make in negotiations is that they spend their time trying to persuade the other parties to change their point of view. They make arguments, present facts, give examples, and answer questions in the hope of making an impact on the way the other person is thinking. The more they talk, the less they listen, and the less likely they are to hear critical information that could make a difference to the results they achieve. Successful negotiators spend much more time listening than talking. They ask short, open-ended questions of the other party and listen attentively for useful information.

Uncovering Interests
In particular, good negotiators focus their attention on uncovering the underlying interests of the other party. People seldom come out and tell you what they are really trying to achieve through the negotiations, but they are driven by underlying interests just the same, and good negotiators make it their job to uncover the other party's motives. By discovering what the other parties are looking for, negotiators can then present solutions that meet the other parties' needs while optimizing satisfaction of their own interests. Successful job candidates, for instance, use interviews to ask the interviewer questions that get at the company's interests and then present themselves in a light that addresses the interests that have been discussed. Less successful interviewees spend their time answering questions and talk about themselves.

Power Differences
Another common error that negotiators make is to misjudge the power balance between them and the other party. Very often people interviewing with a large employer think of themselves as lacking in power compared to the employer and fail to negotiate effectively for themselves. While power differentials do exist, it is important to remember that there are many sources of power, and that the power relationship is often not as obvious or one-sided as it seems. The very fact that the two sides are negotiating at all indicates that each has control of some resource that the other party desires. Discovering what the other party values is an important part of uncovering the other party's interests.

Manage Your Nerves
People get very nervous negotiating, and their anxiety causes them to make mistakes. They may be uncomfortable with silence and prone to making concessions or giving up vital information if the other party isn't talking. They may also be reluctant to take breaks or walk away from the negotiation and may therefore be subject to making erroneous decisions under pressure. It is important to be able to step back from the negotiation before making any commitments, and it is vital to be ready and willing to walk away from the table if the other side does not present reasonable options.

Research Delivers
Finally, negotiations often fail before they even begin because people do not prepare sufficiently or do not research the right information. Preparation starts with a thorough understanding of the alternatives available to the negotiator if no agreement is reached, and the consequences of those alternatives. Negotiators must also research and be ready to present objective data to back up their assertions. It is also important to understand as much about the other party and their motivations, who they report to, and what makes them look good before engaging in a negotiation. Good negotiators spend more time preparing than negotiating and achieve favorable results as their reward.

Moshe Cohen is President of The Negotiating Table, mediating business disputes and providing negotiation and conflict management training to businesses and individuals. He also teaches Negotiation and Leadership in the MBA program at Boston University.

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